I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
