Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
