"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
