I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
