guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And then my night got REAL pukey
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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