Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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