The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
