dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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