he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
