when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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