You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
