In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize