I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you never un-have a 4some
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
