I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
