I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize