I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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