My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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