he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
