who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
