she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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