Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
