his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When are your genitals available?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
