there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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