he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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