i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
