dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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