Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
