the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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