Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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