I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
