If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
