whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
