umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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