i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
