I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i will never coherently bang her
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
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