All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
