Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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