Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
