Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
