I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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