i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
