At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
