is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
