just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
