Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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