apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize