Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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