If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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