An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
