you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
