Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
