Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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