we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
