i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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