Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
