She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
