Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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