I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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