I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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