I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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