I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize