____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
