took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
