I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
